Intimacy

Differences Between Compassionate and Passionate Love

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After a year punctuated by two frustratingly short visits, I quit my job in New York and moved to Barcelona with a plan to learn the language and a prayer that when she could actually understand me, she might love me. Falling in love was Sturm und Drang: euphoric at times, but also risky, fraught, and emotionally draining. The long-distance relationship before I moved to Spain was filled with agonizing phone calls, unintelligible letters, and constant misunderstandings. You might more accurately say that falling in love is the start-up cost for happiness—an exhilarating but stressful stage we have to endure to get to the relationships that actually fulfill us.

Affect on Relationships As anyone who has ever lived and loved can approve, not all types of love are the same. The love you air for your partner during the ahead of schedule stages of a romance can air much different than the love you may feel years later into the relationship. Psychologist Elaine Hatfield has described two different types of romantic love: compassionate also known as companionate after that passionate. Compassionate love involves feelings of mutual respect, trustand affection while adore love involves intense feelings and sexual attraction. Hatfield defines passionate love at the same time as a state of intense longing designed for union with another. People in this state of love tend to be subject to very powerful feelings for each erstwhile.

The interesting thing to know about limerence is that for most people it lasts between six and 24 months — three years if you are lucky. Then bang! Those chemicals abandon the body and they don't appear back unless you get another aficionado. This is where I look by people's narratives about love and femininity. In limerence a lot of the desire and lust is spontaneous after that it's easy to get to femininity and to feel adventurous. Because of this, many people think when you get yourself into a relationship you will both ride off into the sunset and make love happily all after. Not so. Your sexual affiliation — just like your overall affiliation — needs work and maintenance but it is to be strong after that serve you well.

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